Telling her mom this story, she looked at her mom and with tears in her eyes she said, “I will never trust anyone for the rest of my life.” And I love Brene’s honesty because she said in her mind she thought, “That’s right, don’t you trust anyone but me.” But as an accomplished emotions researcher, Brene didn’t stay there. She thought—How am I going to go explain “Trust” to a third grader”? Not an easy task, but the marble jar actually became very important.

Brene explained to Ellen that trust is like a marble jar. Over time people in your life do things that mean something to you—and eventually those meaningful things add up until their marble jar is full. And those are the sorts of people that you know you can share your hard stories with. And Ellen was delighted to share that she DEFINITELY had marble jar friends. But what earned them marbles was very interesting.

Ellen described that that one of her “marble jar friends” earned those marbles because she would do what she called the “half-butt sit” at lunch with her. If there wasn’t a seat for Ellen in the cafeteria at lunch, her friend would scoot over and give her half a seat. Another marble jar friend got marbles because she knew who Ellen’s grandparents were…This friend looked up during a soccer game and said to Ellen,” “There’s your Oma and Opa!” She said it meant something to her that her friends remembered who her grandparents were and what she called them.

Brene was waiting for Ellen to tell her about a big grand gesture—A story where Ellen’s friend rescued her after she got hit by a ball during a game and threw her over her shoulder or something along those lines—but Ellen’s marble jar experiences made her realize that those sorts of moments were what built trust with her too. She looked at the research on trust and found that what Ellen knew intuitively bore out in the research. It’s not grand gestures build trust. Trust is built in small moments.

Telling that story about trust, I imagine you can understand why it’s one I come back to again and again, especially with middle schoolers. Trust is a fundamental part of any child having the freedom to truly figure out who they are, but in my experience what I’ve found is that children and youth especially are very adept at figuring out who is trustworthy. They can detect with a high degree of accuracy when someone is being authentic. What is more difficult for them oftentimes though is figuring out how to build trust in the first place and how to be part of groups that are trustworthy.

Life in the modern world has not made this easier on people. It’s really easy for us in this day and age to think we have to do something big and brilliant to earn trust or show people we care about them, especially when those grand gestures can earn a lot of likes and follows on social media or at least make people remember us. But if you can for a moment, picture with me in your mind’s eye the person or people you trust the most in the world, is it something big they did that made you trust them so deeply? If I had guess, I’d say they earned your trust through an accumulation of small moments built over time that made you trust them so much.

This idea that trust is built in small moments feels important for me to share with you because today is Celebration Sunday and as I’ve been preparing to uplift all of our Confirmands today, it’s occurred to me that Celebration Sunday is at it’s core a day about trust. It’s a day when we celebrate a new group of students joining the church for the first time and it’s a day when we celebrate students embarking on a journey of deciding whether they’d like to join the church. It’s both an accumulation of trust that’s been built in the lives of these students over the years since they’ve been here and it’s a way that we show them that we trust them to take part in the life of a church that’s precious and important to all of us.

I don’t know that it’s obvious on the surface that that’s what Celebration Sunday is all about—I’ve sort of pieced together since I’ve been here because of something I think sets this church apart. Since I’ve been here,  I’ve seen such commitment from people here on so many levels. There’s been commitment just in terms of the amount of time people have been part of this congregation. There are adult siblings who played basketball together on the church basketball team when they were children and now are on Session together. We have preschool teachers and nursery coordinators who’ve nurtured children for 20 years and more.

But this level of investment goes beyond just being part of the church for a long time. There are people who haven’t been here for that long, but based on my interactions with them, I’d have thought they’d been here their entire lives simply because they are so integrated and invested in the life of this church. These are people like the Wellers, the Larsons, the Chandlers. In a short time they’ve made a huge impact here.

So as Celebration Sunday approached and I thought about this trust that we’re uplifting today—I found myself wondering: What was it that brought these people back again and again and made them say, “This is a community I am going to stick with through thick and thin?” And I decided to start talking with people all different groups in the church and asking that question.

I heard stories about mission trips, about going through Confirmation with a person that ended up becoming a pastor at this church. I heard from a person who tried to belong with just about every kind of church before figuring out that she belonged right here in this church where she actually grew up. But I have to say, Brian Landwehr who has helped with High School Youth Group here for many years got at the heart of what I heard in so many answers without me even prompting him—He asked me, “Are you looking for one story? Because for me, it was many small moments that all came together so I knew I wanted to be part of this place.”

I think for many of us, it’s small moments rooted in trust that have made this church—and really our lives—so special. Our Scripture for this morning highlights this reality in a really unique way too. It comes from the very beginning of Paul’s letter to the Philippians which is by far the warmest and most positive of all Paul’s letters. He is rejoicing and giving thanks for the church in Philippi despite being in pretty dismal circumstances himself.

Paul is writing to the Philippians from prison and he is certain he’s facing death at the hands of the Roman government. Even so, he writes this loving letter to the church in Philippi because in those final days of his life, they are what is most important to him. He tells them that he is certain that God will complete all the good work that they’ve started in their church and he prays that all the love they share will overflow and multiply. It’s a really beautiful thing to say to this church.

What I think it’s important to know here is that Paul traveled like crazy throughout the ancient world. Up on the screen you’ll see a map that outlines just a few of Paul’s travels to churches throughout the ancient world and what you have to realize is that he wasn’t traveling to all these places in a car or even on horseback. He was going on-foot and by boat, which was extremely dangerous during the 1^st century. It was taxing on the body so Paul was really going to great lengths to see these different people.

He would go from place to place telling people about Jesus and converting people to Christianity. A lot of people converted because of Paul, so much so that Paul is actually a major reason why we are here today. If he hadn’t spread Christianity as well as he did, it’s possible that with so many followers of Jesus being persecuted after Jesus’s death, the church would have been wiped out entirely. Paul’s work to spread Christianity allowed the church to survive despite that persecution.

But because Paul was traveling so much, he never got to stay with any church for too long. He came and stayed with a group for a small period of time and went shortly after, keeping in contact with them mostly through letters. And that was certainly the case with the Philippians. Paul is writing to them from prison in Rome—you can see where that is in the top left corner—It was nowhere near the church in Philippi. He likely visited them years before being imprisoned and only heard bits and pieces of what was going on with them through correspondence.

What that tells us is that a very short stay with the church in Philippi made a tremendous impact on Paul. No other letter reflects this kind of love and warmth and as Paul faces death in prison, he finds himself not thinking about any of the great work he did to convert so many people to Christianity. Instead, he remembers these moments of love.

I doubt the church in Philippi knew they would have such a big impact on Paul, but what was likely a short stay in Philippi brought him peace and joy at the end of his life. What I know to be true for us that we often don’t know in a moment the impact we have as a church or as individuals on anyone that walks through our doors. What I can say with certainty is that we are in a unique position as a church to create bonds of trust here in this place and that trust is one of the most valuable gifts we can give one another and each of these Confirmands.

I’ve said so far that trust is built in small moments, but what I want to spend the rest of our time talking about is what that actually looks because just two weeks ago when I preached my candidating sermon, I said that during this time of transition, it’s my job and call to see each of you as having something important and beautiful to bring to the table. But what that means is building these trusting relationships does not just fall on me, or Laura, or Barbara, or whoever is coming to be a pastor here. This is work done by all of us together. And I think it starts with this:

We want to be a place where at the end of the day, if a person—especially one of our children or youth—is accepted by no one else and no where else, they know at the end of the day that when they walk through these doors they are loved and accepted exactly as they are. Creating that kind of environment involves holding each other accountable for our behavior but creating the kind of love and trust where we have the freedom to make mistakes as we struggle and figure out who we are knowing that we can make mistakes among people who love us and want what’s best for us.

Trust is crucial in this because when we have the freedom to be who we are and make mistakes, that’s when we rise to the highest level of our abilities and are able to be the people God created us to be. That trust is forged by looking at the people around us and really seeing them, not just for what they can do for us but as people who make the world better simply by being who they are.

And I’ve seen this ability to trust so clearly in our Confirmands here. Our Confirmands who are joining the church today have had a very unique experience with Confirmation. They were the first students to come to in person Confirmation following the pandemic and their class fell right during the time when TC left, Jeni Eklund was hired, and I was brought on board. They have undergone so much change in a program that should ideally be a source of stability for them. And yet they stand before you today prepared to join the church. That is dedication and trust made visible.

These 8^th graders that just finished confirmation are some of the most thoughtful and engaged students I’ve had the privilege of working with. Despite going to 4am figure skating, play practices, dance rehearsals and competitions, basketball and track practice, and even living 40 minutes away, these students show up ready to learn, to ask hard questions, and to engage with the mystery of what our faith means as it unfolds before them. They each have invested in the life of this church and have demonstrated trust in us as a church. It’s our job to follow their example and take seriously the impact we can make in the smallest moments by demonstrating this.

So I say to all of our confirmands this morning—Today, we celebrate that you have filled the marble jar of this church to the brim. That love and trust represented in each marble is overflowing so it’s time to celebrate you and every small moment and choice you’ve made that has led to this moment. I feel confident that God’s love will continue to pour out of you and make this world a far more beautiful place. And as a church may we follow this example and create a place where every person here has the freedom to explore who they are and experience God’s love through the trust we share. Amen.