Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?
Luke 16:10-12
Several years ago, our daughters began asking about allowance. They were beginning to express an interest in buying things with their own money and making decisions about what to buy. Eric and I felt they were ready for the responsibility, so we started out with a small weekly allowance. But we didn’t want the girls to think that allowance was just about getting money. We also wanted to instill a sense of giving back and gratitude that we felt should go hand in hand with receiving an allowance.
To plant the seed of giving back, we created a “Give Away Jar”. Each time the girls received their allowance, they put 10% into the Give Away Jar. In the beginning and for some time after, the amount in the jar grew by the coin. It was slow going (as saving almost always is) but in time, there was a respectable amount in the jar to give away. We continue this practice to this day, identifying a cause to which we want to donate the contents of the jar and then starting over with the empty jar.
To plant the twin seed of gratitude, we also began sharing our appreciations. We think back over the past week or two and share things that have meant something to us. Our appreciations have ranged from simple to profound. We have appreciated friendships and celebrations. We’ve appreciated vacations and lazy days. We’ve appreciated lives lost and lives just beginning. We write our appreciations down and then pull out the stack to read together over Thanksgiving weekend. It’s a wonderful review of all that we’ve been grateful for over the past year.
Over the years, we’ve gotten some pushback about pairing allowance with appreciations. The girls have used the excuse that it would be so much quicker if we skipped appreciations and just gave them their allowance. There have been evenings when the only ones appreciating anything were Eric and me. There have been other times when the appreciations offered were less than heartfelt and felt like an end to a means. But I know deep down, the lessons of gratitude and giving are taking root. I see our girls growing into generous people, looking for ways to help others and quick with a kind or comforting word. I see them valuing time and money, and making good choices when it comes to spending both.
During this season of Lent, let us continue the practice of gratitude and generosity as a response to the gifts God has given us. Gratitude and generosity can take on many forms – from deeply personal to very public: being present with our loved ones; prioritizing self-care in order to be our best for others; starting or continuing a faith practice that feeds our souls; offering kindness and compassion in every situation. We have been trusted with so much. Pass it on.
-Katy Allen
